The Fellowship Thingy of the Bracelet
by CompletelyInsane
Summary: 9 people set out to destroy evil forever-1problem they are all completey off their rocker. The bracelet of power is in the hands of a helpless, idiotic, mental case named harry potter. things will get interesting...
1. A messed up Fellowship

The Fellowship Thingy of the Bracelet (Lord of the Rings spoof)  
By: Stating-the-obvious  
Also by: Wild Fire  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter, which belongs to J.K. Rowling. I do not own anything Lord of the Rings, which belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
Summary- 9 people set out to destroy evil forever- 1 problem they're all completely off their rocker. The bracelet of power is in the hands of a helpless, idiotic, mental case named Harry Potter. Things will get interesting…  
  
Character Key-  
  
Frodo- Harry  
Sam- Ron  
Merry- Fred  
Pippin- George  
Barmier- Snape  
Gandalf- Remus Lupin  
Gimili- Sirius Black  
Aragorn- Arabella Figg  
Legolas- Flame Sky  
  
Sauron- Voldie (Voldemort)  
Sauromon- Fudge  
Elrond- Dumbledore  
Gollum- Wormtail  
Ring Wreathes-  
Mcnair, Crabbe, Goyle, Avery, Crouch, Percy (W.), Bill (W.), And Charlie (W.)  
  
  
Thoughts and notes-  
  
=thoughts  
( ) = authors notes  
  
  
Now we go to the chapter…  
  
Chapter One- A messed up fellowship  
  
Really crappy theme music came on as Dumbledore started to tell everyone who the fellowship was going to be. "Now when I call your name please come to the front. The bracelet bearer will be Mr. Harry Potter." People gave Dumbledore looks of disbelief as a boy no older than 15 stood up and walked to the front. The strange thing about Harry was that he was in a straight jacket and wearing a crazed smile on his unusually stretched face. "Accompanying him will be Sirius Black," a tall man with dark hair and eyes walked cautiously towards Harry, stopping a few feet short of him. "Remus Lupin," a guy with brownish blondish hair went to stand next to Sirius. "Flame Sky," a girl with waist length red hair, green eyes and a mischievous grin walked straight up to Harry and flicked his unsuspecting nose. (Die Harry! Die!) "Arabella Figg," a girl with strawberry-blonde hair, brown eyes, and hiking boots stood up and joined the group. "and Severous Snape." (I feel no need to describe Snape to you as I am assuming you have read the Harry Potter books and do not want to give my self nightmares about his hideous face.)  
"Mr. Potter is not going any where without me!" came a voice and out rushed (3 guesses.) Ron Weasley.  
"Fine it's your doom." Dumbledore said lightly.  
"Or us!" came Fred and Georges voices.  
"Honestly! Do you people WANT to die or something? Go stab yourself it will be quicker." Dumbledore snapped. (ooh mean Dumbly have you missed your nappy?)  
At last Dumbledore agreed to Fred and George's intrusion. By that time Flame and Arabella were chatting away in the corner.  
"I whatever you the fellowship of the- Flame and Arabella shut up- bracelet." Dumbledore announced.  
Sirius smiled evilly, "ooh nice name."  
Remus cracked a grin identical to Sirius's, "especially the shut up part."  
"You all really need to learn how to do that." Dumbledore said apparently annoyed. (Wonder why?)   
"Why?" Arabella asked. Every one except Dumbledore, who sighed, shrugged.  
"So where are we going?" George asked.  
Flame and Arabella looked at each other and grinned.  
"To La La Land,"  
"At the top of Mt. Lollipop,"  
"To through the bracelet into boiling…"  
"Molasses," Arabella and Flame finished.  
"Be serious!" George shouted.  
"Why one's bad enough." Fred replied smartly.  
Sirius drew himself to full height and said in a choked up voice that sounded very much like he was going to laugh, "I believe I'm your elder,"  
"You don't look it." George retorted.  
Sirius's face relaxed, "I'll take that as a compliment."  
"Back to the matter at hand," said Dumbledore.  
"What's the matter with your hand?" George asked. ( I've decided him the dumb one)  
"No. No. No. He said back to the matter at hand," Flame said, "So as we were talking Arabella, before SOMEONE interrupted us," at this Flame did a cough that sounded oddly like Dumbledore, "about how ugly Sirius's hair is now that he grew it out…"  
"Ulf! Don't they ever shut up?" Sirius asked.  
"Not about your hair," Remus said knowingly, "I don't like it either it is so 12th century."  
"How rude," Sirius glared.  
"True." Remus smiled.  
  
(I'm so sorry this chapter wasn't that long. Update by the 24th . Please review. Don't be too harsh it's only my first fic on line) 


	2. Procrastinating

Disclaimer- See chapter 1  
  
  
  
(sorry I'm late but my computer had a virus)  
  
  
  
Chapter 2- Procrastinating  
  
The next day the fellowship was ready to leave. (key word ready) "Mind you behave yourselves!" Dumbledore called to them as they were just about to leave. (big mistake Dumbly) "What are you our mother?" a rather irritated Remus Lupin asked. (It is only 9am people) "Yeah, we're adults." Sirius agreed. Flame and Ara started to chuckle at this. "Responsible adults," Remus added. Flame and Ara couldn't help it they started to laugh. "Mature responsible adults," Sirius finished. By this time Ara and Flame were in hysterics. "What's your problem?" Remus asked finally noticing the laughing girls. In between all the laughing they could make out 3 words- mature, responsible, and adults. "alright let's get a move on!" Dumbledore said. "But mommy I don't want to go!" Sirius wailed. "I thought you were adults." Flame said. "You actually believed that?" Remus asked apparently shocked. "No!" Ara said defensively. "Good," Remus laughed, " I was starting to worry about your mental health." "I thought we've already had this discussion my mental health is BAAAAAAD!" Ara said matter of factly. "I'm mentally challenged." Flame announced. (Alright no offence flamelle we agreed every one was crazy when we came up with this.) One of those cartoon light bulbs appeared above Ara's head. "Give me the bracelet!" Every one looked at her in utter disbelief, "I could apparate to the volcanoe!" "er-no." Dumbledore said. "Why?" "that would make the story far to short and leave the author with nothing to do." "stupid author." George muttered (yes he is still there). All of the sudden George got struck by lightning. (ahh the powers of being an author) " I mean nice author, talented author." "How come that type of thing always happens to my bright ideas?" Ara asked. "all you ideas are dumb!" Sirius said. "hey," Ara slapped Sirius. "you mean!" Sirius pouted. " Hey it's getting dark." "that means we can not go today" They all ran back to the house of Dumbledore.  
  
(thanx to my 3 reviewers! Sorry again short chappy but I'm typing the 3rd right after this) 


	3. Cheese is good!

Disclaimer- See Chapter two  
  
(I got 3 more reviews so I decided to type chapter 3. This is going to be short because I wrote it while waiting for my friends. Next chapter is going to be much longer)  
  
Cheese is good  
  
They REALLY left the next day. "Good Bye" Dumbledore said as the fellowship walked out the door. "Later" "Much" "Toodles" "Chow" "cheese is good!" Harry shouted out of the blue. (remember he is a mental case after all) "What type of cheese?" Fred asked (the next dialogue is while their walking) Harry looked clueless. "Cheddar." said Sirius. (did u know cheddar is spelled w/ an a that's really messed up you'd think it was an e) "Nah, mozzarella." Ara disagreed. "Parmesan." Remus said. "Jack!" said Flame. "who?" Ara, Sirius, and Remus asked. "It's also a type of cheese." Said Flame matter-of-factly. "Oh." "So what's the cheese on?" Fred asked. "Pizza!" Sirius yelled. (they are soo getting way over excited about cheese) "with cheese in and on the crust." Ara added. "Is their really such a thing?" Sirius asked. "yeah, saw it on a commercial the other day." Ara answered. "Where do they sell it?" Sirius asked. Ara shrugged. "The cheese is on spaghetti." Remus said finally getting back to the point. (took them long enough) "You are insane(your point?) it's on nachos!" Flame said. (and now we know what their fave foods are!) "Pizza!" "Spaghetti!" "Nachos!" "Pizza!" "Spaghetti!" "Nachos!" "Pizza!" "Spaghetti!" "Nachos!" "Pizza!" "Spaghetti!" "Nachos!" "Pizza!" "Spaghetti!" "Nachos!" "Pizza!" "Spaghetti!" "Nachos!" "Let's vote!" Sirius suggested. "No Fair." Harry said. (almost wisely but I do not like him so he gets to sound stupid) "Then what do you propose we do?" Ara said putting on a stuck up tone. (Throw Harry off a cliff! Duh!) "How about we decide." George said. ('cause arguing is FUN) So Fred, George, and Harry went into a huddle. (and the verdict is.) "Pizza!" they shouted. Ara and Sirius do a victory dance while Flame and Remus pout. "Why Pizza?" Remus asked finally. "pizza is biggest!" Harry said. (stupid reason, really) "soooooooo?" "It wins" Harry answered simply. "Why were we arguing any way?" Flame asked. "beats me." Ara said. "hey where are we?" Sirius asked looking at their surroundings. "uhhhhh" said Remus.  
  
  
  
(alright this is my pitiful attempt at a cliff hanger. I'll ^date as soon as I think of something oh probably next week cause I actually have something to do this weekend . Latur) 


	4. A lost map and pink or orange?

(I'd like to say thank you to my reviewers. I know the last chapter was strange, but hey I got 2 good reviews on it so far.)  
  
Disclaimer- see chapter 3  
  
Chapter 4- Why this is rated pg 13  
  
The fellowship thingy looked around some what confused about their surroundings. It looked like they were at a forest, but what forest they could not say. "Why the hell didn't you bring a map?" Remus shouted angrily at Sirius. "My bag was full!" Sirius responded just as loudly. "With what dare I ask?" "Candy!" "Oh alright then." Remus said regaining his calmness. "Really?" Sirius asked in disbelief. "NO! We are lost in the middle of a bloody forest and it's your entire fault!" "If your sooooo smart why didn't you pack it?" "Who said I was smart? "Umm- Guys there someone coming." Ara cut in. They ignored her. "Get you're a** off the bloody road!" "Gees you don't have to yell." Sirius said in a hurt tone. Ara pulled them off the road and behind a tree just as 13 people dressed in orange on purple motorcycles zoomed past. "Who were those people?" fred asked. "Yeah we could of asked them for directions." Said George. "No those were pink riders." Said Flame. "Are you color blind those were orange." Sirius said. "they are orange but CALLED pink!" Flame said. (that was freaky pink or orange) "Your still mentally challenged." Sirius stuck his tongue out. "grrrrrr." growled Flame. "I thought I was the dog!" Sirius exclaimed. "you are but she's the bi-" Flamed slapped Remus, "princess who liked dogs?" SLAP, "queen of the underworld who thinks you're a sh*t head." Flame shrugged All of the sudden Ara slapped Sirius. "What the hell was that for?" Sirius asked. "I felt left out." "oh kay"  
  
  
  
(I can't think of any thing else right now so ideas are welcome. I promise to up date sometime after next wed. Latur) 


	5. Marshmallow Mines

Disclaimer- see chapter 4

(I thought of some way they could get to Moria! Yay! Go me!)

Chapter 5- Evil Goblin Mines

            The fellowship trudged through the forest for many hours until they reached an odd clearing with paths leading from it in different directions. The odd thing about the clearing was the signs in the middle of it. They pointed off in different directions like he paths with strange places written on them like good peaceful place, snowy pass, and evil marshmallow people mines. There was another bank sign in front of all the rest.

            "So which way do we go?" Fred asked Remus. Then the most peculiar thing happened- the blank sign was being written on by an invisible hand. (Blank sign words are _italics_)

            It read- _they all lead to La La Land eventually._

            "Who are you?" Sirius asked the board.

            _Oh, I'm the author of course but you can call me evil person._

            "Which one would you suggest?" Flame asked evil person.

            _Well, personally I like the snowy pass the best, but you shouldn't go there. Fudge has it all blocked off._

"Fudge?" Sirius asked, "Isn't that the minister of magic?"

            _Correct. He is in league with Moldy Voldy._

"But then we're all going to die!" George screamed.

            "I knew he was evil!" Fred announced.

            _Well no duh! He didn't listen to the crazy old kook last year!_

"Oh I remember that!" Harry said. (You know the end of #4)

            _It was only, like, a month ago. Anyway, the evil marshmallow people mines actually follow the story even if one of you falls down a bottomless pit._

            "Who?" Remus asked. (oh poor remmy u had 2 be the wizard didn't u?)

            _If I said then the person wouldn't fall, and it would alter the course of the story, which is something I'm not creative enough to do._

"Do they die?" Ara asked.

            _No comment. Now hurry along and don't be late! Oh, be as silent as possible in the mines._

So the fellowship followed the path to the evil marshmallow people mines. When they got there they read the riddle and tried (key word) to find the password. They spouted out every strange word they knew but there was no response. Five hours later a note fell on Flame's head.

            "The password is friend it's so ******* obvious." She read.

            The great doors flew open and the company marched inside. They went as quietly as they could for several hours until-

            "****! I stubbed my ******* toe!" Sirius shouted. (Poor Sirius but some one had to)

            "Shut it!" Ara hissed but it was too late. A giant marshmallow was creeping out from the next corridor.

            They ran. Up one passage and down the next but the marshmallow was gaining on them.

            "Alright, rock paper scissors on who gets to fight this thing!" Flame suggested. Remus lost. The rest of the fellowship ran out while Remus said, "You shall not pass!"

The marshmallow didn't listen as it had no ears. So the only logical thing to do was eat the marshmallow.

            An hour or so later the rest of the fellowship peeked in to see ½ a marshmallow pulling Remus down a bottomless pit. "Nooooooooo!" they all shouted but it was too late. Every one started crying their eyes out and saying things like "I wish Harry could of fallen instead!"

            They slowly went to the next road, looking teary back every now and then.

(Sorry I couldn't go into detail but I couldn't bring myself to write Remmy's "death" ^ date soon. Thanks for the reviews! Latur!)


	6. Of funky chicken dances and elfophobia

Disclaimer- see chapter 5 oh, I don't own the funky chicken dance

The Fellowship Thingy Of the Bracelet

By;

Stating the obvious

(Sorry so long. I was sick, flooded with chores, evil science fairs, and attacked by the feather duster. Anyways thanx 4 the reviews! The name for Lothlorien really sucks but you're the 1 who wanted the next chapter, right?)

            Chapter 6- Funky Chicken dances and elfophobia

            The fellowship thingy trudged up a grassy hill that fell between the evil marshmallow mines and the forest of Neirolhtol (told you it was crappy).

            "This is like so totally boring!" Snape the volley girl said. (I finally remembered he's here! Oops!)

            "OH PUT A SOCK IN IT!" Sirius snapped.

            "but I'm like not wearing any." Snape said.

            "EWWWWWWWWWWW!" 

            Just then really corny Indiana Jones music came on getting louder by the second. (this part is made up by my friend)

            "ahhh," Flame said clutching her ears, "Turn it off!"

            "I like it!" Harry shrieked. Then (2 all our horrors) he started to dance, but not just any dance, the funky chicken dance. (*screams and runs out of the room only to come back 5 minutes later and continue typing*) All the rest of them stared at him for a moment, awing at his stupidity. Slowly they started to join him. Even after the music stopped they kept dancing now with the words-

            _I don't wanna be a chicken_

_            I don't wanna be a duck_

_            So I'll shake my butt!_

            All of the sudden a girl of 13 materialized. She had strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes, and a look of anger on her face.

            "What the hell are you doing?" she shouted at them.

            "errr- like who are you?" snape asked.

            "I am the all powerful author Stating the Obvious on fanfiction." She said forgetting she was angry.

            "Long name." Sirius said

            "You can call me Sologel." She said.

            "Sologel?" Ara asked eyebrows raised.

"nickname," Sologel explained.

            "Why are you here?"

            "you are insane go to the forest right now!" Sologel said.

            "but…"

            "scoot!" she ordered and they set off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"La La La!" Sirius said out of the blue.

"He's finally lost it!" Ara said shaking her head at Sirius.

"All those years in Azkaban got to him." Flame agreed.

"No!" Sirius protested, "Ijust remembered this book I read for muggle Studies."

"so?"

"It was about this fellowship thingy that went out on a quest to destroy this ring and they sung A LOT."

"That sounds familiar." Flame said.

"yeah." Ara agreed.

"Don't elves live in this forest?" Sirius asked changing the subject.

"yeah, why are you afraid of them?" Ara teased.

"uh, I… their ears freak me out" Sirius muttered and blushed.

"Like this?" Flame asked showing her elfish ear. (did I mention flame was an elf?)

Sirius ran off into the forest screaming at the top of his lungs.

"yep,"Ara said sireously, I think he has elfophobia." With that they chased after him.

(That's all 4 now folks! I promise to up date sooner! Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 


	7. In which Mac'n'cheese is made

(A/N: Oh I am so so sorry. I completely forgot about my fanfiction until the other day I found the 7th chapter in my sock drawer. *blush* I'm sorry!!! Anyways, for Disclaimer: you should know the drill by now. It's in the first chapter.)

Chapter Seven~ In which they make Mac'n'Cheese

            After the Fellowship thingy caught up with Sirius, they decided that they were tired and wanted to make camp.

            "I'm hungry," Fred announced.

            "Me too," George said.

            "Never fear! I brought the food!" Flame said cheerfully.

            Several people exchanged glances.

            "What did you bring?" Ara asked looking at Flame's bag nervously.

            "Macaroni and Cheese!" Flame announced.

            "Say wha?" Ron asked totally and completely confused by the blue box Flame had pulled from her bag.

            "Mac'n'cheese!" Flame said again, "Don't you know what Mac'n'cheese is?"

            "He's a pure blood," Harry explained.

            "Does that mean I don't have to share?" Flame asked hopefully.

            "No, why would it?" Fred asked.

            "Because….er… I said so?" Flame asked.

            "So?" Snape asked, "Last time I checked _I _was ruler of the universe and, as ruler of the universe, I DEMAND MACARONI AND CHEESE!!"

            "Sheesh. Temper, temper," Sirius said.

            "But I want cheese!" Snape said miserably.

            "Can we hire someone to assassinate this ruler of the universe?" Sirius asked pointing at Severus.

            "Who would we hire?" Flame asked, looking around at the forest.

            Sirius looked towards the sky, "Could you please kill him for us?"

            There was no answer.

            "Aw well it was worth a try."

            "So back to the Cheese," George said, "I'm hungry."

            "Okay we need wood," Ara said, taking charge.

            "Would this work?" Harry asked holding out his wooden wand.

            A cartoon light bulb appeared over Sirius's head. "We have wands!" he said, "and _magical_ abilities. Ooh they sound so fun. I want to curse someone." Severus backed away nervously.

            "Anyways," Flame said conjuring up boiling water, milk, and butter, "We don't need wood anymore."

            "Okay," Ron said, strangely hyper, "Can I stir? Please? Mum never ever let's me stir!"

            "Sure. Knock yourself out, kid," Flame handed the ingredients to Ron.

            Five minutes layer they were all sitting in a circle with a pot of mac'n'cheese. They were all staring at it.

            "So who brought the silver ware?" Fred said at last.

            Silence.

            "I guess I could conjure up some spoons," he said.

            "SPOONS?" Ara asked, "What sort of nutter eats Macaroni with a spoon?"

            "Hey!" Flame said loudly, "Spoons are cool!"

            "Forks!" Sirius said joining in on the argument.

            They had gotten very loud so it was no wonder a bunch of teacups surrounded them.

            "You're coming with us," the lead teacup said.

(Alright that's it for now. I'm out of computer time. I'll try and update. Review as always)


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